The Craggy Hole in My Heart and the Cat Who Fixed It: Over the Edge and Back with My Dad, My Cat, and Me

I guess it was no accident that I read Geneen Roth's new
book on the way to visit my dad. "The Craggy Hole in My
Heart and the Cat Who Fixed It" captured my heart, as all
of her books have.

This book, however, is not about emotional eating per se,
but rather about the emotions and the stories that can
drive the eating.

No matter what role food plays in our lives, it is inextricably
linked to our desire for love and acceptance . . . and you
usually don't need 6 degrees of separation to get there.

Geneen addresses these issues better than anyone I
know. She has lived her life untangling them and teaching
the rest of us how to do the same.

For example, in regard to her fear of her beloved cat's
death:

"It occurs to me that I can spend the rest of my life (and
his) in low-level panic, or I can take a leap into the
suffering, and make friends with fear, pain and sorrow. It is

the same juncture I reached with food, when I realized I
could keep being frightened of going off the diet and eating
so much I'd end up weighing a thousand pounds, or I could
stop dieting and discover if there was a bottom to my
hunger."

Again and again Geneen lays it all on the line - this book
is fresh, vulnerable, edgy and funny. In it, she confronts
the honest, raw truth of her life, of her relationships . . . and
takes us all along for the ride.

And what a ride it is!

Geneen tells us the story of how she sold her soul for the
love of her father, how she learned to love (with 20-lb. cat,
Mr. Blanche in tow), to BE loved and to confront the truth.

In coaching, I sometimes ask my clients, "What's the lie?"
meaning - where are you lying to yourself? With integrity
and courage, my clients learn to face the truth by shedding
the lies.

In shedding her lies, Geneen also sheds the skins of her
childhood. Psychological researchers now believe that we
do NOT have to be prisoners of our childhoods.

As human beings, we are amazingly capable of rewriting
our childhood stories. Geneen reminds us that "unless we
question them head-on, we believe them for the rest of our
lives."

So I appreciate THIS visit with my dad even more,
savoring family memories, and feeling just a bit more
capable of facing the truth and the inevitable.

Through Geneen's example, we learn that we can rewrite
our stories to better serve us as adults, so that we can
flourish in our relationships and in life.

Through her openness, we learn how to handle even death
without emotional eating. It makes us feel as if anything we
think or feel is ok . . . someone else has felt the same . . .
or worse.

Now there is a lesson learned.

Here's to facing your truth,
Carol


Don't Let the Title Put You Off !!   April 2, 2005
Rosie (California)
21 out of 21 found this review helpful

I am not a cat person or a dog person, so when a friend told me I had to read this book, I was willing to pick it up, but a bit wary.The title is way too sentimental for this incredibly deep, brilliant, laugh and cry out-loud book. From the first page, I was hooked--and I never put the book down. Once I finished it, I started it again. Like all of Geneen's books, you have the feeling that she is talking right to you, about you, about your life, your family, your friends, your feelings. One more thing: this is not a book about animals. If you have ever loved anyone, if you have ever lost or are afraid of losing anyone, you will kiss the ground at having found this book.



Fill the hole in your bookshelf -- right here!   July 6, 2004
Dr Cathy Goodwin (Seattle, WA USA)
23 out of 25 found this review helpful

Okay, I admit it: I'll pick up almost any book with the word "cat" or "dog" on the cover. I'd never read Geneen Roth before, and I didn't expect to like this book very much. But this book won me over the way Blanche won over the author: slowly and subtly.

Roth was in a position to be a great cat-owner. She lived in a city with access to alternative veterinary medicine as well as cat therapists, groomers and more. So when Blanche entered her life, Roth's love spilled over. And it couldn't happen to a nicer cat.

I must admit I turned the pages a little faster when Roth panicked about losing her cat. Blanche is tougher than he looks, I wanted to say.

Many people will find parallels with Roth's family in their own lives -- or their friends' lives. Roth tells the story movingly, but matter-of-factly, without self-pity.

But Blanche remains the hero of this book and Roth's life. Perhaps the most telling passage comes when she writes that, "Blanche is like food once was -- he doesn't talk back, he doesn't hit, he doesn't go away...also, and I think this is important, he doesn't have any calories."

Blanche really does fill a hole in the author's heart but, unlike food, Blanche helps Roth grow and accept new relationships. Roth acquires not only a husband but also a dog. And she takes on a spiritual teacher, distinguished from a therapist in one of the best sections of the book. A therapist, says Roth, helps you heal the damage from what was done to you. A teacher helps you heal from the way you reacted to what was done to you.

The perfect gift for a sensitive cat lover. Then again, what true cat person isn't sensitive?


A Book of Extraordinary Appeal   July 5, 2004
17 out of 18 found this review helpful

I fully expected Geneen Roth's book to be moving and interesting - as are all of her books. But this book took me to new places. As the father of an adult daughter, the book brought me to a completely unexpected place of love and compassion for my child. Through her deep and personal disclosure, Ms. Roth has informed my own relationship - the need for honesty and transparency, interpersonal integrity, and, above all, extreme sensitivity to my child's needs and view of me. This book should be required reading for all men.


A Book That Touched me so Deeply   November 28, 2004
Readergurl (New Jersey, USA)
7 out of 7 found this review helpful

I have never read a book that hit me SO hard, and touched me so deeply. What most reviewers have already said, is how i feel, but i really need to express it again here.I have only read Geneen Roth in Prevention, but i cant wait to read more of her. I am overweight, a pet-lover (more dogs than cats), and have suffered the loss of both parents. The book is so beautifully written, and i felt like she was speaking FOR ME. I cried so much, that was the only problem! I cried early on in the book and it only got worse, to the end were i was sobbing til i couldnt breathe...but i really needed to let that emotion out, and for me that alone makes the book so special.If you have an eating disorder, love animals, have suffered loss, or just love a wonderful, moving story, buy this book. As another reviewer said, i will never get rid of it. I plan to re-read the ending, "the words of Blanche," many more times. We all need to be reminded about love, and that we're all worthy of it.